Trading in the past for the present

I think I have a serious problem with letting go of the past. Or maybe just the past in general.
Recently I've taken a hobby on of daydreaming about the my history, other peoples history intermingled with my own, and making nightmares out of them.

I am constantly digging around in the dirt of my mind looking for ancient skeletons in the ruins of the far away past. I dig them up and photograph them all, over and over, over and over. Like I want a X-ray photo gallery of the past, made up of only negatives that i can refer to, obsess,and dwell over for the rest of my life.
Carry them around in a breifcase of guilt, shame, and regret that would always entitle me to the name of a worldclass failure.
Its not healthy, not healthy at all...

But here is lies the contradiction in my face at every second of every minute of every hour.
My hearts beats!
Every second of every day it beats. 
My lungs breath! and the is air to fill them. 
My feet..  My feet find solid ground every morning,  and I can lift myself off the ground and stand up!!  For the sake of anything,  what more would I have to ask from my history?
I have it all!

I keep killing myself of all these negative theories and inquiries as to how my life has been full of nothing but the worst bad has to offer wondering how could my world be headed for anything positive?  Meant for anything positive?..
I'm looking at life the wrong way every time..

If I have the time and energy to look back at the bad that once was.  in the same moment I am betraying the repeating fact that I am alive in the present... And that is a multiple sided,  multiple faceted miracle..