I'm an Emo... Weird.

I always considered myself to be an extremely positive person. Always having a good thought about this, that or the other.  Always being able to see the brighter side of things. I've always been the happy dude,  the cheerful guy that is going to smile or laugh at something at some point or another. If you asked people who knew me, I would be one of the people described as happy-go-lucky,  or more accurately a-happy-idiot.  Just being realistic...
But lately I've felt an emotional shift in my attitude. Not just felt.  I'm aware, of a shift.  The world no longer a colorful playground for me to glide through and enjoy. The future is no longer a bright positive Outlook with a scenic view of better things.  My once warm and loving past slips farther and farther into a place I can't see. I have realized,  I think... That I am becoming depressed.
I used to think badly about people who were always depressed. People I knew who were always depressed.  "Emo" is what we called them back then,  and that may have just been referring to a fashion statement,  but being Emo meant that you were the depressed junkie of life. I remember looking at them and thinking,.. How could somebody feel that bad about their lives? How could somebody be so sad?
And now,.. Only a few years later after thinking that way, I may actually be one of them. I do not enjoy my life, and I cant possibly imagine how I am ever going to start. My days are ever haunted by the same negative contraptions that i have pronounced out of my life. Any significance that I can come up with,  is wiped out utterly by a tidal wave of emptiness that seems always ready to crash over my head. It is extremely difficult for me to see Earth,  as a place I would like to have a future in. I've come up with this thought in my head and it goes like..  "But hey,  I don't even want to be here.. ". Something I would have never said a few years back,  and if you had told me that I would be saying it. Wouldn't have believed you.
But I am saying it now...  So its kinda weird.Just saying...